A beautiful end to a roller coaster of a journey!

         Since my last post i am glad to say that i am not the same person who i was two weeks ago! So many things have changed around me i feel the difference but i don't know what to make of it. I think it is because of Junpyo or rather the whole of F4 because before them i wasn't hopeful or in "dreamland" i was very conscious of reality but they gave me hope and wishes and an alternate world with dreams and love! Now that they are gone i am left here in this beautiful world all alone with no one to make me smile at the end of the day, no one to give me more hope or make me want to wish any longer! There is no one to make me cry but at the same time make me feel so much better after my tears dry. Without them, i feel like i have no purpose, no dreams, no connection with life. I feel like a big part of me is missing and i don't know how to feel this void space.

         I find myself sitting down and wishing i had a love like that! Before, i had come to the real conclusion that love that is in the movies and that it does not exist! I had come to terms with the fact that i may never see anything like that ever! Now i just wish, hope, pray and beg that it does exist! I dream of the day that i will have something like that! At the back of my mind, i know that it is not true and in this day and age, there is no such thing that exists! Am i naive for wanting something so beautiful for myself? Am i just lying to myself? I probably am but if i don't make myself feel better who will? If i don't give myself hopes and dreams nobody else can! Boys over Flowers is now gone and i may be lost for a while but i know that i will survive the important thing here is that it taught me more than i expected to be taught in one million lifetimes! It taught me that love is a beautiful thing and embracing it is the hard part people are just scared of getting hurt! Just as i was but once you get past all the hurt and the pain and the fear, everything becomes beautiful and true. It becomes almost unreal and out of this world and most of the time, people don't understand what they feel so they run the other way when it happens to them not knowing that they are getting away from the most beautiful thing in their lives!

  Junpyo and Jandi found that beauty and i know that everybody else can have it they just don't know what they have till its gone! So if you think you have something good going for you embrace it and destiny and fate take its course!
and thats just LIFE AS WE KNOW IT! =*

MY NEW OBSESSION! JUNPYO-NIZED!!!

         I'm so sorry i have not been blogging! i have been really busy and everything and everyday gets crazier than i planned for. Aside from my everlasting obsession with Spanish Soap Operas, i am now officially Junpyo-nized!! I am moving to South Korea to find Junpyo,Yun Jihu, Yijeong and Wubin but mostly the first three! my new obsession is none other that BOYS OVER FLOWERS!!!

    Yijeong, Wubin, Gu Junpyo and Yun Jihu respectively in this picture! I know they look like women but you have to admit don't you just want to eat them up!!! Yijeong (first one on the far left) is my favorite though he is a WOMANIZER in this film! Ok, generally, they are the rich upper class society boys who run the show and take what they want or rather they have everything they want already!!! They are the F4 i just found out that F4 stands for "Flower Four" and don't they just look like flowers?!!! I mean sexy, beautiful flowers!! So, Yijeong is the son and the heir of the most famous potter in Seoul and if i may say the SEXIEST boy in Seoul! His family also owns the biggest and most prestigious museum. His father is a womanizer who sleeps with his students hence the reason for Yijeong's inability to COMMIT! Next is Wubin (note, i'm saving the best for last!) he is the son of a wealthy contractor who owns the biggest construction company in Seoul. It is also said that they have underground ties with the mafia. Then, Gu Junpyo, leader of the F4 and the cruelest, most rigid, heartless, wealthiest member of the F4! He is heir to the Shinhwa Group owners of a multinational hotel and the Shinhwa Group of schools reserved for the wealthy kids of society! Finally, the sweetest, most talented, loving and swagalicious member of the F4, Yun Jihu. He is the grandson of the former President of South Korea and his family owns a European football club, a few museums and a company i think. However, his parents died in a car crash in which he was the only survivor and he hasn't been in touch with his grandfather since they died. He thinks his grandfather blames him for their death. The four are very wrong alone but as the F4 they are a force to reckon with!!!

       Finally for the best part! You see the girl in the middle of Gu Junpyo and Yun Jihu? That's Geum Jandi! The only poor kid in Shinhwa High because she got a scholarship there after saving a boy who tried to commit suicide because of the F4 trying to bully him! The only person who ever stood up to the F4 and the only person who was ever able to TAME the F4! You see Gu .Junpyo and Yun Jihu over there? Well they are both in love with her! =) YES! I aint kidding! At first, she was in love with Yun Jihu i mean i don't see why not, but he was in love with some model and followed her to France! While he was gone, Geum Jandi had already started dating Gu Junpyo and was starting to have deep feelings for him! Junpyo was the sweetest, most caring but at the same time very distant and still a little rude! When Yun Jihu came back, after the model he was in love with got engaged to someone else, he started to have feelings for Jandi though it was too late! I cannot state everything that happened but generally, Jandi and Junpyo break up because he caught her kissing Jihu and they got back together after a long period of fighting and competing for Jandi's love! After getting back together and going on sweet dates, kissing for the first time and even contemplating professing love for one another, Junpyo's mother butts in and forces them to break up because "Jandi is not good enough for Junpyo" because she is poor!
       The witch gives them such a hard time and the death of Junpyo's father was the last straw, Junpyo had to follow his mother's blackmails and take over his father's life long work and leave Jandi. All this time, Jihu stood by Jandi took care of her, made sure she always smiled and gave her all the love and attention he believed she deserved and in the process fell deeper n love with her! His love is not reciprocated though because Jandi is still very much in love Junpyo even after everything he has done to her! Later, Junpyo comes back to Seoul, Jihu got a cut hair cut, Yijeong is falling in love with Gaeul, Jandi's best friend, and Wubin is still the same! On Junpyo's birthday, his mother announces his engagement to Jaegeyong, the daughter of their most prominent partners. This breaks Jandi's heart especially the fact that Junpyo agrees to marry her! Her parents move out to go look for work elsewhere, she moves into a rooftop apartment, Junpyo seems to want her back so he moves into the room right next to her and Jihu continues to love her and looks like he is even contemplating telling her! Though i want Junpyo and Jandi to be together, it looks like Jaegeyong is going to be a threat! I also don't want Jihu to suffer and Yijeong is in a dilemma between his first childhood love and Gaeul and loving in any way! What is going to happen? I DON'T KNOW!!! and i can't  wait until Monday to watch the rest of it! One thing is for certain, it's CRAZY!!! and i'm going to miss it A LOT when it ends seeing as there are only 25 episodes and i am on episode 18! I am going to try and keep you updated coz im sure you love it now just as much as i do!
   and that's just LIFE AS I KNOW IT!!! =)

IT'S WEDDING SEASON AGAIN!!!!!!

        Well the fact that i have not had a weekend in forever has been the worst part of my semester hence the lack of time to keep updating my blog! So what's new? In th name of love is finally finished! i started a new soap called Mar De Amor (Sea of Love) and it's going ok but the best news yet is that it is wedding season again! the good thing with knowing many people is you get invited to many events! For it's the weddings i love! So after a long HORRIBLE exam yesterday i ended up going for a wedding and as usual i had to get my hair done and get the best outfit in the least amount of time possible but the end result was AMAZING (as usual!) and it was perfect rehab for getting over my exams and everything that has been going on this year plus it was a mixed wedding meaning there were SEXY, tight ass, luscious lip Somali guys all of which were from my tribe! I know yeah!
         The best opportunity to actually get a real relationship but too bad there were one million grandmothers around and none of us could make any moves but i did see one who was worth the time of day and his ass!!! OMG!!!! it was the best sight in the world and he kept smiling at me so i guess that means that he was thinking the same thing about me but then again he was probably wondering why this weird chick was staring at him so much!!!!! =O but i enjoyed myself my waist is still in pain because of all the dancing and running around! I was in a jungle red dress and gold heels! and a gold belt at the empire waist and my hair was in perfect curls and my lips were as usual glamorous in red!!! its a wonder this guy was drooling all over me!!! ;)  it was just the best way to get over the stress of the pat weeks and the yet to begin stress from the next weeks. i love weddings and i hope i get to have more of them to attend and hopefully my own! Oh by the way, Ida Odinga was there and the Permanent Secretary i didn't catch her name and the MP for Wajir North   and his wife and a few more people i didn't bother to note! it was an amazing night although i'm still hangover because we got home at about 4:30 and could sleep because my dad was arriving from Paris at about that time and you know what that means PRESENT TIME!!!!
For now thats just LIFE AS I KNOW IT! =*

P.S I Love You

"if i kiss you, it will be the end of life as i know it"
Gerry told Holly on the first day they met!

     Do you ever feel like you try so hard for so long to convince yourself of something and then in just minutes you don't think its the best thing to believe in anymore? Well iv spent half of my life trying to convince myself that love does not exist and that all it does is lead to pain and suffering! A few years ago, i was still thinking the same thing! See the funny thing is i pretend i don't believe in love but i have watched almost every romance movie known to man and every Spanish soap opera ever created but still in the corner of my mind i convinced myself that it was all a lie! This was until i watched one of the best romance movie EVER "P.S i love you" by Hillary Swank and Gerald Butler!

       You see, Gerry (Gerald Butler) was a free spirited man with a sexy Irish accent and Holly was the love of his life! But he died from a brain tumor and he left a string of letters that would come at the right time to help Holly cope with his death. They say nobody knows you as well as the love of your life and the only person who could help her through her grief was the one person who was gone! At the end of every letter he never failed to say "P.S- I Love You." He didn't want her to feel alone, he wanted her to try things that she wouldn't do otherwise just like when he was alive. He told her that he wanted het to be the girl he met on that road full of life, spirit, ideas and dreams! He took her down memory lane and showed her how with each day that passed he loved her and cared for her and how she made him the best man he could be! But now he was gone and she needed to move on and continue her life. He reminded her of the great times they spent together but he also reminded her that she needed to make her own memories without him!

    I will never forget in the last letter he told her that she was the best thing that ever happened to him but he was just a chapter in her life and she needed to make more happier and better chapters because he will always love her no matter what! He said that she didn't need him anymore and that it was time to say goodbye, that she will love again she should look out for the signs! You know we waste too much time worrying about our plans and our future and being angry at the little things like who left the toilet seat up or who wore my clothes that we forget to just stop and smell the roses! life is too short to be racing through it not caring what happens as long as time just goes by and finally ends without us having something important to show for our days spent on earth! Gerry has a lot to be grateful for he met the love of his life and wasted no time in marrying her and making the best out of what they had! His love was so great that even in death he didn't leave her side until she was ready to walk alone! Does love like this exist today? I don't know but i know one thing for sure! If we don't try or risk everything to gain more than we can possibly imagine, then we might never know if it's out there! So i don't believe that love is the enemy anymore and i hope to God that someday i will have a love as strong and pure as the love that Gerry and Holly felt for each other. I am not going to be scared anymore because that is what i was, scared, of the pain, the hurt, the rejection but thats different now! Gerry didn't only help Holly survive his death, he helped her find purpose and direction in a world that seemed lost and hard without him. He helped her get up from that miserable hole she fell in and encouraged her to walk again and find a new life with hope and love even after she wanted to die and join him and end all her suffering. He not only held her hand he held mine as well and every other woman who had doubts about love and gave me the courage to stand up and have faith! I know i'll find my Gerry and i know when the time comes i will take the risk and be happy!
         and that's just LIFE AS WE KNOW IT! =)

.A Long day but completely worth it once i saw my pals!!!

     do you ever feel like this day is the worst day of my life??? i feel like that all the time but i see these faces here and my day gets so much better! our crazy sex talks, our secret crushes and not to mention the endless times we learn something new about each other! i cant imagine a day without them! its virtually impossible! i mean if didn't get to see at least one of them once a day i would go MAD!!!!
       they have been there for me through the worst and stood by me at times when i had some of the best                                                    
times of my life! i will never forget the first concert we went for! we screamed so much we lost our voices! And remember the Spanish festival???? the best time EVER!!!! i mean its not everyday you get kissed one million times by a SEXYISH Spanish GUITARIST!!!!!!! either way the point is some of my best memories are with you guys! thanks Terry for showing me how amazing it is to blog about my boring life and for teaching how to be the best person i can be without taking bullshit from people who don't matter! thanks everyone for showing what its like to a fun person to be with! without you i would probably still be glum and sad!!! I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!!! and i wouldn't change a single day we have had together
and thats LIFE AS I KNOW IT!!!! =* <3

AWESOME soaps this week!

                                                                                       

          OMG! these soaps are going to kill me some time soon! I mean the drama! Juan Miguel the sexy man holding the apple yeah!!!! isn't he such a beauty! I mean i can stare at him all night and all night long! Who knew Cuban men were so SEXY!!!! anyway, today don't mess with an angel was off the hook! My favorite part was when he grabbed Marichuy and cockily said "i'm going to dance with my WIFE!" i would kill to hear him say that to me! Marichuy watch out coz i'm coming to get my man!!!! what? a girl can dream! 

       

        I love my soap operas they keep me alert and always expecting something! i never realized how important they were until i found myself relying on them for some form of adventure in my life! Its like reading a book! you get to travel, fall in love, feel pain, get hurt and be happy all from the comfort of your living room or in this case my bedroom! what would i do without getting my daily dose of romance and happiness from my William Levy? not to mention the extremely romantic Eric Elias and my poetic and incredibly cute Inaki Ipparagire! i would be bitter and sad without them! which says a lot coz i'm genuinely a sweet and nice person i would to think! 

        also, lets not forget Emiliano finally acting like a man and defending himself against the witch Romena! if you are reading this and you dont understand a thing i am saying i'm sorry coz i would love to explain everything but it would take FOREVER!!!!!! for those who understand what i'm saying, i npw this sounds crazy but i kinda want Paloma to stay with Gabriel! I mean he seems to be more worthy of love and affection not only coz he is going to die but also coz well his eyes are actually open! 

        
             well with that, the love and stories in these soaps keep me grounded and happy in a sense! when im watching these things i feel like i am actually there with them, feeling what they are feeling! i guess that is just      
  LIFE AS WE KNOW IT!

LIFE IS A BITCH!!!

          Do you ever ask yourself why certain things happen in life? I mean actually sitting down and pondering for hours and hours on what has already happened to you and what you plan on doing for what is happening right now! Lately i have been finding myself in this situation more than usual! I don't want to be at war with my family and frankly i find all this very immature! What will any of us gain if we decide not to ever talk to each other!? It hurts me to bits being the one who started all this but was i to stand there and see all my efforts gone to waste? All my hard work, all my energy, all the things i have done to make this one person happy? I know that when you do something it is supposed to be for you but everything i have done so far has been to make him happy to at least reassure him that even if he has problems in th outside world i am here to help him with everything else. keep the fort down and make sure everything is okay! I have had no problem with helping around and staying around but what bothers me is the fact that i will do all these things and my efforts will still not be realized!
            But then again maybe he sees it as a responsibility for me to do all the things i so willingly do out of love and sometimes fear but i do them anyway without giving any conditions. I know i'm supposed to say sorry but this will mean that it is okay for him to take me for granted! Maybe i'm afraid that if i forgive i will have nothing left to hold against him anymore after i have held a grudge against him all these years it has become part of me! I just don't know how to forgive him! I thought he changed and actually cared about what happens to me but i guess i was wrong! All he cares about is looking good in front of his friends! He doesn't care about how hard i work and that is what i am going to stick to! I'm going to hold my ground until such a time when i think I'm ready to face him and tell him everything i feel!
and thats just LIFE AS I KNOW IT!