Well i'v been off the scene for a while and lots have happened! The first two weeks of school, being with my friends again, meeting my new lecturers, starting my first assignments! so much to do such little time!!! But the most important thing i think is the fact that i realized that I am doing really good in being the best me i can be! I am going out into the world! When i made the decision to get out there i didn't think it was possible! Even if things are going slow and I am taking things step by step at least the most important thing is that im actually trying!
Also, everything seems to be harder! i don't know where i should rate my classes! i mean the only class i'm fully on board with is literature and iv always loved the course but the rest are proving to be very different from what i expected! i mean i hope i'm not starting the semester with a bad attitude but i will know soon enough! Home is as bad as it has always been with insults and arguments reigning supreme! sometimes i never know where i stand with all this! i don't know who to support or who to lean on really! have you ever gotten the feeling that you just want to scream, let go of everything you held inside and just storm out and never come back!!!! i guess running away from your problems isn't enough!
I was wondering, do i have daddy issues!????? i mean sometimes i cant stand the sight of him! i hate how he favors his kids! i can't stand the way he finds his way around wat u ask him!!! i hate the way he pressures me to be something and never compliments me for the hard effort i put into making him happy!!! then again why should i make my life about making him happy when i am miserable as hell! such is life! we think that it will help us when we make other people love us but the first step is when we love ourselves first! who am i to say anything when i haven't learnt to love myself enough to not care about what my dad thinks about me!!!! well i guess that should be another aim in life!
well thats just LIFE AS WE KNOW IT!!!!
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