A beautiful end to a roller coaster of a journey!

         Since my last post i am glad to say that i am not the same person who i was two weeks ago! So many things have changed around me i feel the difference but i don't know what to make of it. I think it is because of Junpyo or rather the whole of F4 because before them i wasn't hopeful or in "dreamland" i was very conscious of reality but they gave me hope and wishes and an alternate world with dreams and love! Now that they are gone i am left here in this beautiful world all alone with no one to make me smile at the end of the day, no one to give me more hope or make me want to wish any longer! There is no one to make me cry but at the same time make me feel so much better after my tears dry. Without them, i feel like i have no purpose, no dreams, no connection with life. I feel like a big part of me is missing and i don't know how to feel this void space.

         I find myself sitting down and wishing i had a love like that! Before, i had come to the real conclusion that love that is in the movies and that it does not exist! I had come to terms with the fact that i may never see anything like that ever! Now i just wish, hope, pray and beg that it does exist! I dream of the day that i will have something like that! At the back of my mind, i know that it is not true and in this day and age, there is no such thing that exists! Am i naive for wanting something so beautiful for myself? Am i just lying to myself? I probably am but if i don't make myself feel better who will? If i don't give myself hopes and dreams nobody else can! Boys over Flowers is now gone and i may be lost for a while but i know that i will survive the important thing here is that it taught me more than i expected to be taught in one million lifetimes! It taught me that love is a beautiful thing and embracing it is the hard part people are just scared of getting hurt! Just as i was but once you get past all the hurt and the pain and the fear, everything becomes beautiful and true. It becomes almost unreal and out of this world and most of the time, people don't understand what they feel so they run the other way when it happens to them not knowing that they are getting away from the most beautiful thing in their lives!

  Junpyo and Jandi found that beauty and i know that everybody else can have it they just don't know what they have till its gone! So if you think you have something good going for you embrace it and destiny and fate take its course!
and thats just LIFE AS WE KNOW IT! =*

MY NEW OBSESSION! JUNPYO-NIZED!!!

         I'm so sorry i have not been blogging! i have been really busy and everything and everyday gets crazier than i planned for. Aside from my everlasting obsession with Spanish Soap Operas, i am now officially Junpyo-nized!! I am moving to South Korea to find Junpyo,Yun Jihu, Yijeong and Wubin but mostly the first three! my new obsession is none other that BOYS OVER FLOWERS!!!

    Yijeong, Wubin, Gu Junpyo and Yun Jihu respectively in this picture! I know they look like women but you have to admit don't you just want to eat them up!!! Yijeong (first one on the far left) is my favorite though he is a WOMANIZER in this film! Ok, generally, they are the rich upper class society boys who run the show and take what they want or rather they have everything they want already!!! They are the F4 i just found out that F4 stands for "Flower Four" and don't they just look like flowers?!!! I mean sexy, beautiful flowers!! So, Yijeong is the son and the heir of the most famous potter in Seoul and if i may say the SEXIEST boy in Seoul! His family also owns the biggest and most prestigious museum. His father is a womanizer who sleeps with his students hence the reason for Yijeong's inability to COMMIT! Next is Wubin (note, i'm saving the best for last!) he is the son of a wealthy contractor who owns the biggest construction company in Seoul. It is also said that they have underground ties with the mafia. Then, Gu Junpyo, leader of the F4 and the cruelest, most rigid, heartless, wealthiest member of the F4! He is heir to the Shinhwa Group owners of a multinational hotel and the Shinhwa Group of schools reserved for the wealthy kids of society! Finally, the sweetest, most talented, loving and swagalicious member of the F4, Yun Jihu. He is the grandson of the former President of South Korea and his family owns a European football club, a few museums and a company i think. However, his parents died in a car crash in which he was the only survivor and he hasn't been in touch with his grandfather since they died. He thinks his grandfather blames him for their death. The four are very wrong alone but as the F4 they are a force to reckon with!!!

       Finally for the best part! You see the girl in the middle of Gu Junpyo and Yun Jihu? That's Geum Jandi! The only poor kid in Shinhwa High because she got a scholarship there after saving a boy who tried to commit suicide because of the F4 trying to bully him! The only person who ever stood up to the F4 and the only person who was ever able to TAME the F4! You see Gu .Junpyo and Yun Jihu over there? Well they are both in love with her! =) YES! I aint kidding! At first, she was in love with Yun Jihu i mean i don't see why not, but he was in love with some model and followed her to France! While he was gone, Geum Jandi had already started dating Gu Junpyo and was starting to have deep feelings for him! Junpyo was the sweetest, most caring but at the same time very distant and still a little rude! When Yun Jihu came back, after the model he was in love with got engaged to someone else, he started to have feelings for Jandi though it was too late! I cannot state everything that happened but generally, Jandi and Junpyo break up because he caught her kissing Jihu and they got back together after a long period of fighting and competing for Jandi's love! After getting back together and going on sweet dates, kissing for the first time and even contemplating professing love for one another, Junpyo's mother butts in and forces them to break up because "Jandi is not good enough for Junpyo" because she is poor!
       The witch gives them such a hard time and the death of Junpyo's father was the last straw, Junpyo had to follow his mother's blackmails and take over his father's life long work and leave Jandi. All this time, Jihu stood by Jandi took care of her, made sure she always smiled and gave her all the love and attention he believed she deserved and in the process fell deeper n love with her! His love is not reciprocated though because Jandi is still very much in love Junpyo even after everything he has done to her! Later, Junpyo comes back to Seoul, Jihu got a cut hair cut, Yijeong is falling in love with Gaeul, Jandi's best friend, and Wubin is still the same! On Junpyo's birthday, his mother announces his engagement to Jaegeyong, the daughter of their most prominent partners. This breaks Jandi's heart especially the fact that Junpyo agrees to marry her! Her parents move out to go look for work elsewhere, she moves into a rooftop apartment, Junpyo seems to want her back so he moves into the room right next to her and Jihu continues to love her and looks like he is even contemplating telling her! Though i want Junpyo and Jandi to be together, it looks like Jaegeyong is going to be a threat! I also don't want Jihu to suffer and Yijeong is in a dilemma between his first childhood love and Gaeul and loving in any way! What is going to happen? I DON'T KNOW!!! and i can't  wait until Monday to watch the rest of it! One thing is for certain, it's CRAZY!!! and i'm going to miss it A LOT when it ends seeing as there are only 25 episodes and i am on episode 18! I am going to try and keep you updated coz im sure you love it now just as much as i do!
   and that's just LIFE AS I KNOW IT!!! =)

IT'S WEDDING SEASON AGAIN!!!!!!

        Well the fact that i have not had a weekend in forever has been the worst part of my semester hence the lack of time to keep updating my blog! So what's new? In th name of love is finally finished! i started a new soap called Mar De Amor (Sea of Love) and it's going ok but the best news yet is that it is wedding season again! the good thing with knowing many people is you get invited to many events! For it's the weddings i love! So after a long HORRIBLE exam yesterday i ended up going for a wedding and as usual i had to get my hair done and get the best outfit in the least amount of time possible but the end result was AMAZING (as usual!) and it was perfect rehab for getting over my exams and everything that has been going on this year plus it was a mixed wedding meaning there were SEXY, tight ass, luscious lip Somali guys all of which were from my tribe! I know yeah!
         The best opportunity to actually get a real relationship but too bad there were one million grandmothers around and none of us could make any moves but i did see one who was worth the time of day and his ass!!! OMG!!!! it was the best sight in the world and he kept smiling at me so i guess that means that he was thinking the same thing about me but then again he was probably wondering why this weird chick was staring at him so much!!!!! =O but i enjoyed myself my waist is still in pain because of all the dancing and running around! I was in a jungle red dress and gold heels! and a gold belt at the empire waist and my hair was in perfect curls and my lips were as usual glamorous in red!!! its a wonder this guy was drooling all over me!!! ;)  it was just the best way to get over the stress of the pat weeks and the yet to begin stress from the next weeks. i love weddings and i hope i get to have more of them to attend and hopefully my own! Oh by the way, Ida Odinga was there and the Permanent Secretary i didn't catch her name and the MP for Wajir North   and his wife and a few more people i didn't bother to note! it was an amazing night although i'm still hangover because we got home at about 4:30 and could sleep because my dad was arriving from Paris at about that time and you know what that means PRESENT TIME!!!!
For now thats just LIFE AS I KNOW IT! =*

P.S I Love You

"if i kiss you, it will be the end of life as i know it"
Gerry told Holly on the first day they met!

     Do you ever feel like you try so hard for so long to convince yourself of something and then in just minutes you don't think its the best thing to believe in anymore? Well iv spent half of my life trying to convince myself that love does not exist and that all it does is lead to pain and suffering! A few years ago, i was still thinking the same thing! See the funny thing is i pretend i don't believe in love but i have watched almost every romance movie known to man and every Spanish soap opera ever created but still in the corner of my mind i convinced myself that it was all a lie! This was until i watched one of the best romance movie EVER "P.S i love you" by Hillary Swank and Gerald Butler!

       You see, Gerry (Gerald Butler) was a free spirited man with a sexy Irish accent and Holly was the love of his life! But he died from a brain tumor and he left a string of letters that would come at the right time to help Holly cope with his death. They say nobody knows you as well as the love of your life and the only person who could help her through her grief was the one person who was gone! At the end of every letter he never failed to say "P.S- I Love You." He didn't want her to feel alone, he wanted her to try things that she wouldn't do otherwise just like when he was alive. He told her that he wanted het to be the girl he met on that road full of life, spirit, ideas and dreams! He took her down memory lane and showed her how with each day that passed he loved her and cared for her and how she made him the best man he could be! But now he was gone and she needed to move on and continue her life. He reminded her of the great times they spent together but he also reminded her that she needed to make her own memories without him!

    I will never forget in the last letter he told her that she was the best thing that ever happened to him but he was just a chapter in her life and she needed to make more happier and better chapters because he will always love her no matter what! He said that she didn't need him anymore and that it was time to say goodbye, that she will love again she should look out for the signs! You know we waste too much time worrying about our plans and our future and being angry at the little things like who left the toilet seat up or who wore my clothes that we forget to just stop and smell the roses! life is too short to be racing through it not caring what happens as long as time just goes by and finally ends without us having something important to show for our days spent on earth! Gerry has a lot to be grateful for he met the love of his life and wasted no time in marrying her and making the best out of what they had! His love was so great that even in death he didn't leave her side until she was ready to walk alone! Does love like this exist today? I don't know but i know one thing for sure! If we don't try or risk everything to gain more than we can possibly imagine, then we might never know if it's out there! So i don't believe that love is the enemy anymore and i hope to God that someday i will have a love as strong and pure as the love that Gerry and Holly felt for each other. I am not going to be scared anymore because that is what i was, scared, of the pain, the hurt, the rejection but thats different now! Gerry didn't only help Holly survive his death, he helped her find purpose and direction in a world that seemed lost and hard without him. He helped her get up from that miserable hole she fell in and encouraged her to walk again and find a new life with hope and love even after she wanted to die and join him and end all her suffering. He not only held her hand he held mine as well and every other woman who had doubts about love and gave me the courage to stand up and have faith! I know i'll find my Gerry and i know when the time comes i will take the risk and be happy!
         and that's just LIFE AS WE KNOW IT! =)

.A Long day but completely worth it once i saw my pals!!!

     do you ever feel like this day is the worst day of my life??? i feel like that all the time but i see these faces here and my day gets so much better! our crazy sex talks, our secret crushes and not to mention the endless times we learn something new about each other! i cant imagine a day without them! its virtually impossible! i mean if didn't get to see at least one of them once a day i would go MAD!!!!
       they have been there for me through the worst and stood by me at times when i had some of the best                                                    
times of my life! i will never forget the first concert we went for! we screamed so much we lost our voices! And remember the Spanish festival???? the best time EVER!!!! i mean its not everyday you get kissed one million times by a SEXYISH Spanish GUITARIST!!!!!!! either way the point is some of my best memories are with you guys! thanks Terry for showing me how amazing it is to blog about my boring life and for teaching how to be the best person i can be without taking bullshit from people who don't matter! thanks everyone for showing what its like to a fun person to be with! without you i would probably still be glum and sad!!! I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!!! and i wouldn't change a single day we have had together
and thats LIFE AS I KNOW IT!!!! =* <3

AWESOME soaps this week!

                                                                                       

          OMG! these soaps are going to kill me some time soon! I mean the drama! Juan Miguel the sexy man holding the apple yeah!!!! isn't he such a beauty! I mean i can stare at him all night and all night long! Who knew Cuban men were so SEXY!!!! anyway, today don't mess with an angel was off the hook! My favorite part was when he grabbed Marichuy and cockily said "i'm going to dance with my WIFE!" i would kill to hear him say that to me! Marichuy watch out coz i'm coming to get my man!!!! what? a girl can dream! 

       

        I love my soap operas they keep me alert and always expecting something! i never realized how important they were until i found myself relying on them for some form of adventure in my life! Its like reading a book! you get to travel, fall in love, feel pain, get hurt and be happy all from the comfort of your living room or in this case my bedroom! what would i do without getting my daily dose of romance and happiness from my William Levy? not to mention the extremely romantic Eric Elias and my poetic and incredibly cute Inaki Ipparagire! i would be bitter and sad without them! which says a lot coz i'm genuinely a sweet and nice person i would to think! 

        also, lets not forget Emiliano finally acting like a man and defending himself against the witch Romena! if you are reading this and you dont understand a thing i am saying i'm sorry coz i would love to explain everything but it would take FOREVER!!!!!! for those who understand what i'm saying, i npw this sounds crazy but i kinda want Paloma to stay with Gabriel! I mean he seems to be more worthy of love and affection not only coz he is going to die but also coz well his eyes are actually open! 

        
             well with that, the love and stories in these soaps keep me grounded and happy in a sense! when im watching these things i feel like i am actually there with them, feeling what they are feeling! i guess that is just      
  LIFE AS WE KNOW IT!

LIFE IS A BITCH!!!

          Do you ever ask yourself why certain things happen in life? I mean actually sitting down and pondering for hours and hours on what has already happened to you and what you plan on doing for what is happening right now! Lately i have been finding myself in this situation more than usual! I don't want to be at war with my family and frankly i find all this very immature! What will any of us gain if we decide not to ever talk to each other!? It hurts me to bits being the one who started all this but was i to stand there and see all my efforts gone to waste? All my hard work, all my energy, all the things i have done to make this one person happy? I know that when you do something it is supposed to be for you but everything i have done so far has been to make him happy to at least reassure him that even if he has problems in th outside world i am here to help him with everything else. keep the fort down and make sure everything is okay! I have had no problem with helping around and staying around but what bothers me is the fact that i will do all these things and my efforts will still not be realized!
            But then again maybe he sees it as a responsibility for me to do all the things i so willingly do out of love and sometimes fear but i do them anyway without giving any conditions. I know i'm supposed to say sorry but this will mean that it is okay for him to take me for granted! Maybe i'm afraid that if i forgive i will have nothing left to hold against him anymore after i have held a grudge against him all these years it has become part of me! I just don't know how to forgive him! I thought he changed and actually cared about what happens to me but i guess i was wrong! All he cares about is looking good in front of his friends! He doesn't care about how hard i work and that is what i am going to stick to! I'm going to hold my ground until such a time when i think I'm ready to face him and tell him everything i feel!
and thats just LIFE AS I KNOW IT!

The Past Two Weeks!!!

         Well i'v been off the scene for a while and lots have happened! The first two weeks of school, being with my friends again, meeting my new lecturers, starting my first assignments! so much to do such little time!!! But the most important thing i think is the fact that i realized that I am doing really good in being the best me i can be! I am going out into the world! When i made the decision to get out there i didn't think it was possible! Even if things are going slow and I am taking things step by step at least the most important thing is that im actually trying!
         Also, everything seems to be harder! i don't know where i should rate my classes! i mean the only class i'm fully on board with is literature and iv always loved the course but the rest are proving to be very different from what i expected! i mean i hope i'm not starting the semester with a bad attitude but i will know soon enough! Home is as bad as it has always been with insults and arguments reigning supreme! sometimes i never know where i stand with all this!  i don't know who to support or who to lean on really! have you ever gotten the feeling that you just want to scream, let go of everything you held inside and just storm out and never come back!!!! i guess running away from your problems isn't enough!
        I was wondering, do i have daddy issues!????? i mean sometimes i cant stand the sight of him! i hate how he favors his kids! i can't stand the way he finds his way around wat u ask him!!! i hate the way he pressures me to be something and never compliments me for the hard effort i put into making him happy!!! then again why should i make my life about making him happy when i am miserable as hell! such is life! we think that it will help us when we make other people love us but the first step is when we love ourselves first! who am i to say anything when i haven't learnt to love myself enough to not care about what my dad thinks about me!!!! well i guess that should be another aim in life!
 well thats just LIFE AS WE KNOW IT!!!!
      

Just the same old disappointment!

          You know just when i think i have done something that deserves congratulations, i get sucker punched in the stomach! Every time! I thought i understood my dad always hard on me, wanting only the best and when i come 2 inches short of that, i'm not good enough! But noooo! my sister has to have the easier way out because she is the favourite one! it doesn't matter if she does something wrong, it doesn't matter if i look better than her, or if i work harder than her, she always gets the "special treatment"!!! i can't stand it! I'm tired of always being the good girl who never gets any thanks! I mean even a simple "thank you for your efforts" has never come my way! Sometimes i start to think that nothing i do will ever be good enough and then i see another opportunity to "redeem" myself and in the end i still see the same old disappointment! I don't think he realizes what this does to me! At least i hope he doesn't realize it!
           At times i just want to give up! Live my life the way i want to live it but something inside me cannot! I waste everyday trying to make him happy just scrapping the floor for any sign of acknowledgment or gratification! I hold on to the few thank yous he throws me like my life depended on them! To come to think of it, my life does depend on them! Are my friends right? Do i have daddy issues?? There are days i loathe him for being so harsh! For letting them throw my mother out, for being such an unforgiving man! I loathe him for not trying to help my poor mother! Why did her marry in the first place? Was he not in love with her? If he loved her so much, would he be able to treat her like this even after years apart? I mean once you fall in love with someone part of them has to stay with you no matter what has happened in the past! Sometimes i think that he sees so much of my mother in me that he just help himself! He naturally treats me like an outcast, a non-member! I have tried to be the best i can just to make him happy! At this point , i don't if i should throw everything away and just do whatever i want or to continue worshiping and idolizing a man that can never give me the same love that he gives my other siblings! I guess this is my fate and i should just live with it you know? There is no other way around it! Though i do love my father, i have harbored a lot of hate and resentment towards him over the years for a lot of things that i just can't explain! Maybe i remind him of my mother so much that he cant bear the sight of me! Maybe he beat me up so much when i was a child that i am completely scared of him!
          I need to get rid of all this emotional baggage and get in touch with the person i really am! Forgive and forget i guess but right now i don't think that is possible! i will make a point of discussing this with the school psychiatrist and see how this goes! but until then i am going to continue being the daughter that is always there and he never cares about! Don't get me wrong he has always had my financial needs covered but who wants money when you live in a house that hardly cares for you and what you think! Oddly enough the only person who gives me the love and respect i deserve is my step mother! I underestimated her in the beginning but she is the best thing that has happened to me since my mother left and i owe most of the strength i get to wake up in the morning to her and her three beautiful children! Then again thats just how life goes the people who are supposed to love you don't and the people who aren't supposed to love you are the only reason why you are still alive today!
         thats just LIFE AS WE KNOW IT!

Love sweet Love!!!!

          There are always the "sobby" days when you watch a romance movie and you get to thinking "will i ever find that kind of love?" "is it just in hollywoodville or does it actually exist?" "is there actually such a man in the world?" i mean the list of questions is endless! I like to think that i believe in true love, finding that one special person who will turn your whole world around and make you whole! a shoulder to cry on, a person to share all your experiences with, a person who knows everything about you in the most intimate of ways, a person who makes you laugh without trying, makes you feel beautiful, a person who makes you feel like you are enough and even if Gissele Bunchen came his way he would still have the ability to look at you and ignore her!
         The more i think about it, the more it seems like this kind of man just does not exist! i mean how many men can ignore Gissele and look at an ordinary woman the same way???? But do i choose to believe that this kind of man does not exist? No! I choose to believe that he exist, in my heart, in my dreams, in my head! He may not be physical but he is there! I know i sound crazy and that is probably why i don't have a real relationship but i would rather my imaginary boyfriend rather than the real live sucker who will sooner or later end up crashing my heart and tearing it to pieces! Deep down i believe that i will find him, i will hold him, care for him, kiss him, hug him because he does exist and he will come to me!
          Love is special. you know i learnt the hard way that not everything in the world that matters can be counted! Love is just one of those things! it's irreplaceable, it's beautiful, it's sweet and it's the purest thing that human beings have to share and thats saying something considering the world we live in today! Even if most of us don't believe it exists, i think we should embrace it and let it in because with love the world is different and without it, the world does not make sense!
          And that is LIFE AS WE KNOW IT!

Moody Day!!!!

         Have you ever had one of those days when you are moody as hell and really angry at the world and you just don't know why?? Well today is one if those days for me! I just woke up and felt like everything was wrong today! I always wonder why because last night i slept in the best mood possible and i just woke in the worst mood and i just can't explain it! everything irritates me from the taste of my breakfast, which usually doubles up as lunch because i wake up so late, all the way to the noisy shrieks of my baby brother and sister! i hate being like this, the risk of me getting in a fight with someone i care about are really high and i don't like the odds against me! Then again i am a woman and i'm very environmentally sensitive! i get irritated by the smallest things but at the same time i have the patience and care to take care of some things. have you ever wondered how your mum does it? I do, almost everyday! I can only imagine how somedays they just don't feel like going through the "schedule" but they do it anyway!
        Sometimes i don't think i can do it! I love children but i don't see myself dropping everything i worked so hard to build and just raise a child! Go through the painfully boring day to day schedule that always starts with me running around and ends with me still running around! Cleaning things after them, washing them, running after them, feeding them, putting them to sleep! I love kids don't get me wrong but i just don't know if i have the strength to leave everything and dedicate my life to them! Maybe in the future i will be more mature and prepared but for now, the most i can do is continue babysitting for my mother and hope to God that i will be a good mother in future!
                   And thats just LIFE AS WE KNOW IT!

The Powers of BOREDOM!

         Mondays have always been that kind of day for me! you know the moods and getting irritated by everything. Well i'm home alone today and its boring like hell! but the peace and quiet when the children are gone helps me think about things. i was just watching one of those "sorority" flicks and it got me thinking shouldn't we be able to choose who we want to be? i mean i know how society tries to define us and who we are, what we wear, what we should look like, but should we let them control everything about us? life is too short to waste your time trying to make others happy while you are miserable as hell!
          For women,  it's torturing yourself by wearing the highest and thinnest heel you can find and wearing the skimpiest skirt around all in the name of looking "sexy" but is that who you want to be? there are days when every woman wants to walk out of the house without make-up on and with sweatpants and a t-shirt because we just don't feel like looking "the part" but do we? no instead we would rather walk out of the house in the most uncomfortably tight top that shows a bit too much cleavage and ridiculously painful shoes and completely going against what we want to do and doing what is supposed to be done! i see lots of women who criticize the women who pay no attention to their beauty and walk around without a care of the world but in real sense, deep down inside, these women are jealous of the carefree women and wish they had the courage to go against all of societies rules and do what they want!
           i have to admit at times, most of the time, i'm a victim of society and so are millions of other teenagers out there! i have also been on the carefree end but trust me, most of the time it was not because i didnt want to look sexy or beautiful, it was because i couldnt look sexy and beautiful! sometimes i just gave up! i hate going shopping for clothes because nothing i liked ever fit me or it revealed too much! so many times i had to resort to the baggiest and biggest top in the shop to just get something that covers everything. shopping was not fun it was a necessity just to get the basics! still in my head i convinced myself that i was better than those slim and sexy girls. i convinced myself that i could wear and do whatever i want to do without a care in the world but i was wrong. deep down inside i wanted to be them; beautiful, slim, popular and all the things society forces on us! in the end no one is ever satisfied! the ones with the popularity want to be invisible and the invisible ones want to be popular! its the circle of life! society doesn't make the rules, we do and it's time we made the right rules!
            that's just "LIFE AS WE KNOW IT!"

New year, new things!

     Well its a new year and as usual everybody has their own theories about how things are going to work out and plans on what to do and when to do them but does everything really work as planned? i mean with the millions of people around the world on december 31st every year who plan their next steps word for word in an absurd resolution and tucking their days neatly into plans and figures that make so much sense in the beginning and ni sense at all in the end! i believe in fate and destiny! things dont happen because we plan them, they happen because they are meant to be! if your "plan" works out for you, i believe its because it's supposed to work, it was destined to work out!
      Today i watched this beautiful romance movie and i was breathtaken! it wasnt the usual "boy-meets-girl" kinda thing it was just random thoughts and feelings that just kept me guessing what was going to happen next! anyway in the end a random old man told the lead actress that "destiny is the bridge you build to your love," and it kinda grew on me! nothing is ever certain! it takes a gut feeling to know what feels right and the same gut feeling to make some of the biggest mistakes in your life!
       So i say LET GO!!!! live life and let things come naturally! having plans just makes life "arranged" and dull! the trick to never regreting your decisions is not making them at all! let them sort themselves out and life will seem as if it flowed in the wind and floated in the sea! i usually dont follow my own advice but this year its going to be different! im going to be free and adventurous! im going to actually have a life and thats the best decision i have ever made in my entire life!!!!! i hope to blog more and share all my fake wisdom and keep in touch with th me im too afraid to show the world! =)